Category Archives: Silliness

Mischief, Silliness

Avast Ye Swabs!

Arrrr! Just so ye won’t be complain’ that nobody reminded ye, Friday be Talk Like a Pirate Day!
I’ve assembled a bounty of piratical resources to help ye prepare for this event, so let’s just dive right in, shall we? What be yer pirate name?

My pirate name is:
Mad Jack Kidd

Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. Even though you’re not always the traditional swaggering gallant, your steadiness and planning make you a fine, reliable pirate. Arr!

Silliness

Skewing the Statistics

From the Dactyl Manor mailbag:

Dear Television Viewer-Radio Listener,
Arbitron is conducting an important survey about television viewing and radio listening in your area. In the next few days, an Arbitron Research Assistant may call you to ask a few basic questions about your household. This call will only take a few minutes of your time.
In business since 1949, Arbitron is one of America’s oldest and most respected survey research organizations. Arbitron is best known for its radio and television “ratings”. Each year, we survey thousands of homes all across the country. Research is our only business. We will never try to sell you anything.
In order to ensure the quality of our research, we need your help by remembering to take our call and sharing this letter with others in your household.
Thank you for taking a few minutes out of your busy day to speak with us. If you have any questions, please call us toll-free at 1-877-255-7551 or visit our website at www.ArbitronResearch.com.
Sincerely,
s/
Steve Morris
President, Arbitron Ratings

In order to encourage me to participate, they’ve included a dollar. (WooHoo! I’m rich! Wealthy beyond my wildest dreams! Now I can leverage this great wealth to accrue power!)
One small problem: I don’t have a landline. There’s no way for them to call me.
The research company forgot to do their homework.

Rants, Silliness

Rodent Control

The DC Department of Health has been running a series of radio spots advertising a campaign to control the city’s rodent population. They’re providing assistance to help residents get rid of the rats under the slogan of “We All Need to Work Together for a Rat-Free DC” (PDF).
This is a terrific idea, and long overdue.
Assuming they’re successful, do you think anyone will notice the sudden drop in Congressional productivity?

Silliness

Frak This!

Someone told me a couple years ago that “frak” — Battlestar Galactica’s curseword-that-isn’t-a-curseword — had been adopted for use in mainstream television in situations where shows would call for cursing but were prevented by the FCC.
At the time, it seemed a little far-fetched, but I let is pass. But you know, if it’s sufficiently widespread that CNN is noticing, then maybe frak really is getting out into the frakking mainstream media.
Thanks to Dave K. for pointing this out.

Rants, Silliness

Google's Nuclear Ambitions

2 Comments

I’ve been playing with Google’s new “Chrome” web browser for the past 24 hours. Not literally of course. I did take some time off to sleep last night and go to work today. (Just don’t ask how many hours of sleep and did I mention that I write web-based applications for a living? The sort of thing that will likely be required to work in Chrome?)
In all, I’m pretty impressed with it. I have found a few minor problems with it — for instance, selecting all the text in a sentence (such as this one) which wraps around onto more than line on the page, results in the “selection marker” spanning the entire page. Also, my bookmarks weren’t imported. But all in all, it’s been pretty solid so far. If Google puts any sort of marketing muscle behind this like they have with the Google Toolbar (when’s the last time you saw a PC without the Google Toolbar?) or GMail, they could put a serious dent in Internet Explorer’s market share. (Depending on who you ask, about 70-80% of the people on the web are using Internet Explorer, 15-20% are using Firefox, and the rest are using Safari, Opera, or another small player.)
One of Microsoft’s practices which people have been pointing at as anti-competitive is that every copy of Windows comes with Internet Explorer pre-installed. Internet Explorer’s default search engine is Live.com.
In the past, Google has protested this practice. (One theory is that Chrome was released as a hedge in case Microsoft does any further integration between Internet Explorer and Live.com.) The default search engine for Chrome is (of course) Google, but they appear to be attempting to forestall any claims of hypocrisy. When you run Chrome for the first time, before you do anything else, you have to confirm your choice of search engine. In addition to Google’s, you can also choose from Yahoo!, Live Search, AOL or Ask.
So by now you’re probably thinking this sounds pretty cool, and I want to get me a copy of that “Chrome” thing, but what the heck does this have to do with any sort of nuclear ambitions?
Well, as you know, when you install the Google Earth application, you explicitly agree to refrain from using Google Earth to control nuclear reactors. (It’s very similar to how you are forbidden from using iTunes for “…the development, design, manufacture or production of missiles, or nuclear, chemical or biological weapons.”
As is my habit, I read Chrome’s End User License Agreement before downloading the program. It seems to be a lightly edited version of the boilerplate license agreement from all of Google’s online services (e.g. Blogger, Picasa, etc.). I’m by no means a lawyer, but one of the more interesting clauses in this license appears to claim that you grant Google a license to use anything you publish (or upload!) via Chrome.
But there’s nothing in there forbidding you from using Chrome to control nuclear reactors.

Assorted Ramblings, Silliness, Video

My Newfound Respect for Paris Hilton

5 Comments

There’s a phrase I never expected to find myself using.
As you might guess from a previous post or two, I’m generally of the opinion that Paris Hilton is just another drunken party-girl. (To be fair, the magnifying glass lens of tabloid sensationalism might leave some people with a less than entirely favorable impression of me too.)
But despite her rather shameless public foibles, recent events have caused me to raise my opinion of Ms. Hilton by a notch or two.
Not being much of a TV watcher, I missed the ad (now viewable on YouTube), but apparently John McCain released an ad drawing a negative comparison between Barack Obama and party girls Britney Spears and Paris Hilton.
So now comes the part where I end up with some respect for Paris Hilton.
Sometime in the past 24 hours, Paris Hilton released a short video responding to the McCain ad. It’s brilliant! Now obviously there were a few other people involved in writing and producing the video, but the fact that she not only responded to being included in McCain’s ad but also went along with poking fun at her own celebrity status… I have to respect her for that.
But there’s more. This short (1 minute, 51 seconds) video also includes the Hilton campaign’s proposed energy policy. Frankly, by addressing both long and short term needs, it makes a hell of a lot more sense than anything that’s come from the two major political parties in recent memory. (The fact that I generally don’t care for Paris, but like her plan more than those proposed by the Republicrats and Democans, should give you some idea of the esteem in which I hold those two groups. (If you’re not sure how high that is, I suggest you get some mining equipment. A shovel won’t get you low enough.))

I’m not entirely certain “President Paris” would be a good idea, but given the alternatives, maybe she could be Zaphod’s running mate?

Silliness, Stories

Just Like Windows

4 Comments

My car’s “Check Engine” light came on last week. Rather than pay through the nose to take it to a dealership, I did some checking and found out that as long as it wasn’t something with the electrical system, the garage where I used to take my pickup could handle the hybrid just fine.
I just heard back from the mechanic. They pulled the diagnostic code from my car’s computer, checked it against Honda’s official list of diagnostic codes and … the code doesn’t exist! They reset the diagnostics, drove the car around a bit, and the service light didn’t come back on.
So the conclusion is that my car had a computer glitch. The solution was to reboot the car!

Silliness

Big Bucks

3 Comments

I thought maybe I was just being silly, but today I was able to confirm that I’m definitely not making the big bucks.
I’ve been suspicious for a while now, but kept coming back to the fact that I’ve been in the workforce for slightly more than 20 years, and on top of that, the software industry is supposed to pay well. So you’d think, the odds were pretty good that I was making the big bucks.
But nope, it turns out that when I get money from the ATM, the bills that come out have the exact same dimensions as when anybody else gets money from it. That was quite a surprise.
So I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Blair, it’s not the size of the bucks, it’s how many bucks you have!”
Well if that’s the case, then I’m really in trouble. I’ve never once gone hunting. The only time I’ve ever had any venison at all was when someone else shared some with me.
I’m so disappointed.