Category Archives: Rants

Not merely ramblings, these are flat-out rants.

Rants, Silliness

Wonderful. Just Wonderful.

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I received a letter from BNY Mellon today. They’re the bank responsible for processing dividends on the six shares of stock I own in the parent company of KFC, Taco Bell and Pizza Hut. An entire six shares. Even if I cashed them in, they wouldn’t cover the amount of hassle I’m now at risk of encountering. Here’s how the letter opens:

We are writing to let you know that computer tapes containing some of your personal information were lost while being transported to an off-site storage facility by our archive services vendor. While we have no reason to believe that this information has been accessed or used inappropriately….

Having worked for a financial services company, I was already pretty thoroughly convinced that personal information isn’t protected nearly as well as the various players claim it is. So in many ways, it really did seem like just a matter of time until my information was put at risk through no fault of my own.
Oh. And the tapes were lost in February. According to the letter, they’ve spent the past five months investigating. Given the lack of a “here’s what we found out” paragraph, I can only conclude they have no idea what went happened.
I know what’s going on. Where did you think Congress was going to come up with the trillion dollars they need to bail out the financial system?

Mischief, Rants, Silliness

REQUEST FOR URGENT CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP

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As John points out, this is a chain post. (John blames Wil Wheaton, so I’ll happily blame John.) I’m fairly comfortable stating that this post doesn’t invoke The Curse since (a) you chose to visit my site instead of me dumping this in your in box and (b) this doesn’t end with the usual litany of bad outcomes if you don’t pass it along.
And hey, maybe this one will really work!
REQUEST FOR URGENT CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP
From: Minister of the Treasury Paulson
Subject: REQUEST FOR URGENT CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP
Dear American:
I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.
I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.
I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.
This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.
Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
Yours Faithfully
Minister of Treasury Paulson

Rants, Silliness

Shoe Safety

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AJ recently asked me to join her team for “Light the Night,” a fundraiser for the The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (sponsorships welcome). I responded that It would be an honor and went to the event web site to sign up.
As with so many events these days, when you sign up, you have to agree to their terms and conditions, essentially agreeing to follow their rules and if you get hurt it’s your fault not theirs.

I understand and agree that I am voluntarily participating in The Light The Night® Walk, through The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, at my own risk and my own request. I am in good health without any medical & physical restrictions. I will wear properly fitting footwear with good traction enabling me to walk safely on all surface and conditions. I can also see well at night and will not need any special assistance. I also give permission for the free use of my name, picture and voice in any broadcast, telecast, print account or any other account in any medium of this event. I understand that bicycles, inline skates, “wheelie” footwear, skateboards and scooters are not permitted.
I understand that The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society has the right in its sole discretion to reject my participation as a Light the Night volunteer for any reason, whether prior to or after my registration.

That highlighted sentence might be setting the bar just a little too high. Footwear suitable for all surfaces and conditions?
The crampons that would allow you to walk safely across an unexpected patch of ice would probably cause you to trip if it then became necessary to walk across a carpet. And if you were on the surface of the moon, the spikes on the crampons would be a risk for tearing the space suit! And just imagine if there were a carpet on the moon! You trip, and as you try to right yourself, one foot makes contact with the other leg and tears the space suit, and then you stumble, fall, and break the suit’s faceplate against a rock.
I’ll do my best to follow their rules, but I’m a bit concerned about the footwear issues. Of course, if means I get the chance to walk on the moon… that might be worth the risks.
Updated 9-23-2008: Due to a death in the family, I won’t be participating in this event after all. I’ll have to look for an alternate way of getting to the moon.

Assorted Ramblings, Rants

Explaining the Financial Meltdown

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Katie sent me a link yesterday to a “SubPrime Primer” which gives you the background on the whole subprime fiasco. It seems like a fairly accurate if jaded description of how we got into this mess.
When I bought my house nine years ago, I had no end of people telling me how instead of a fixed rate mortgage, I should have gone with an lower adjustable rate mortgage and refinanced to a fixed when the rate eventually went up.
Yeah. That would have been a good plan.
I’m a bit nostalgic for the days when “conservative” meant “cautious.” Nowadays it seems to mean “reckless.”

Rants, Video

No Good Options

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If you tell me the Republican Party bites, I won’t argue with you. I’ve been increasingly disgusted over the past six years. But the truth is, the Democratic Party bites pretty hard too. Check out this clip from back in February. (The quick summary is that both parties flip-flopped as to where they stood and both versions of the bill would have hurt the working class.)

There are still about six weeks to go before the election. Before then, there’s a movie I’d like to suggest. It busts on both major parties equally and makes quite a number of good points. In many ways, it’s too bad Tom Dobbs isn’t a real person.

And that’s enough political crap for now.

Rants, Silliness

Rodent Control

The DC Department of Health has been running a series of radio spots advertising a campaign to control the city’s rodent population. They’re providing assistance to help residents get rid of the rats under the slogan of “We All Need to Work Together for a Rat-Free DC” (PDF).
This is a terrific idea, and long overdue.
Assuming they’re successful, do you think anyone will notice the sudden drop in Congressional productivity?

Rants, Silliness

Google's Nuclear Ambitions

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I’ve been playing with Google’s new “Chrome” web browser for the past 24 hours. Not literally of course. I did take some time off to sleep last night and go to work today. (Just don’t ask how many hours of sleep and did I mention that I write web-based applications for a living? The sort of thing that will likely be required to work in Chrome?)
In all, I’m pretty impressed with it. I have found a few minor problems with it — for instance, selecting all the text in a sentence (such as this one) which wraps around onto more than line on the page, results in the “selection marker” spanning the entire page. Also, my bookmarks weren’t imported. But all in all, it’s been pretty solid so far. If Google puts any sort of marketing muscle behind this like they have with the Google Toolbar (when’s the last time you saw a PC without the Google Toolbar?) or GMail, they could put a serious dent in Internet Explorer’s market share. (Depending on who you ask, about 70-80% of the people on the web are using Internet Explorer, 15-20% are using Firefox, and the rest are using Safari, Opera, or another small player.)
One of Microsoft’s practices which people have been pointing at as anti-competitive is that every copy of Windows comes with Internet Explorer pre-installed. Internet Explorer’s default search engine is Live.com.
In the past, Google has protested this practice. (One theory is that Chrome was released as a hedge in case Microsoft does any further integration between Internet Explorer and Live.com.) The default search engine for Chrome is (of course) Google, but they appear to be attempting to forestall any claims of hypocrisy. When you run Chrome for the first time, before you do anything else, you have to confirm your choice of search engine. In addition to Google’s, you can also choose from Yahoo!, Live Search, AOL or Ask.
So by now you’re probably thinking this sounds pretty cool, and I want to get me a copy of that “Chrome” thing, but what the heck does this have to do with any sort of nuclear ambitions?
Well, as you know, when you install the Google Earth application, you explicitly agree to refrain from using Google Earth to control nuclear reactors. (It’s very similar to how you are forbidden from using iTunes for “…the development, design, manufacture or production of missiles, or nuclear, chemical or biological weapons.”
As is my habit, I read Chrome’s End User License Agreement before downloading the program. It seems to be a lightly edited version of the boilerplate license agreement from all of Google’s online services (e.g. Blogger, Picasa, etc.). I’m by no means a lawyer, but one of the more interesting clauses in this license appears to claim that you grant Google a license to use anything you publish (or upload!) via Chrome.
But there’s nothing in there forbidding you from using Chrome to control nuclear reactors.

Rants

Another Drop in the Bucket

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After getting home from Shore Leave on Monday, I stopped for groceries at the store just up the road. While I was there, I discovered that the store will be closing permanently on Thursday.
I’m blessed to live in a part of the world where although this is inconvenient, it’s not a huge deal. It’s not like I have to drive 40 miles to the next town for my groceries or walk a day each way. The store that’s closing is part of a fairly large chain which seems to have a location in every strip mall in a 100 mile radius. And there’s a lot of strip malls in this area – the two nearest alternate locations are both less than three miles away.
So although it’s inconvenient, it’s not a huge disaster for me. Of course, the 100 people who likely worked there may have a somewhat different perspective.
I’m sure glad we’re not in a recession!

Rants

One More Reason

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Talking to a friend this evening, I confessed to not being entirely certain when the last time was that my TV was switched on. I have two major reasons for this:

  1. Reality programming. (For example, I’d prefer to go on my own camping trips instead of watching Survivor.)
  2. Ads that run during the program. Not during the breaks in the program, but the crap they put on the screen after the commercial breaks that distracts you from the show you’re trying to watch.

(I would have also listed “General Lack of Quality Programming”, but that would have been redundant with the first item.)
Thursday’s User Friendly strip points out another good reason to leave the TV turned off.

Rants, Silliness

Marsh Quality

Before emptying the spam folder, I’m in the habit of reviewing the subject lines just to make sure nothing important was trapped by mistake. Of course, it is necessary to be a little skeptical since spammers will generally try to peddle their wares by making the product sound like it’s the best thing since sliced bread.
Today I spotted this subject line:

Trusted Marsh Quality at Discount Prices

I’m not sure I understand how “Marsh Quality” could be considered a positive. Sure, it’s Trusted Marsh Quality, but I tend to think of marshes as soggy, mosquito breeding-grounds.
They did get part of it right though. If the best thing about your product is its “Marsh Quality,” you’d better be selling it at a discount price!