Filling out an online form this evening, I was asked to describe this portion of the site. Calling it a b*** is just too trendy and I’m too far past 20 for anyone that age to think of it as cool. (You and I know it’s cool, but they don’t. Damn kids. Stay out of my yard!)
After giving it some thought, here’s what I came up with:
An assortment of articles looking at the world from a somewhat odd perspective. Contains humor, rants, reviews and almost no mentions of naked women. CAUTION: This site may contain products made from peanuts.
So, there you have it. There are no naked women on this site. That being said, I’m still a guy, so I did add some eye candy a few months back.
Acting on a whim, back in January I conducted a brief experiment to find out what Google would make of the phrase “Polygamous Wombats.” The answer seems to be, “Not too terribly much.”
I did wind up with an ad for a hostel in Austria called “Wombats” (which is somewhat humorous when you consider that wombats are native to Australia instead of Austria). Aside from that, about the only practical upshot is that Google and Yahoo list Dividing by Zero as their number one resource for Polygamous Wombats. (Sadly, this distinction doesn’t seem to be driving any extra traffic to the site.)
In the end, all this does is demonstrate that I need to add a new “Pointless Posts” category to the site. I suspect that will quickly surpass “Assorted Ramblings” as the largest grouping.
“You talk about insanity as though it were something bad.”
I’m certain that somewhere out there, a situation exists where that’s exactly the right thing to say. I’m also equally certain of two other things: A) I have no idea what that situation is, and B) If I should happen to encounter it, I won’t remember what to say.
Did you know that wombats are polygamous? I had no idea one way or the other but for some reason that phrase popped into my mind today. A quick Google search for polygamous wombats however reveals an extract from the Australian Journal of Zoology which says that yes, wombats are polygamous.
Who knew?
So that’s the useless fact of the day, but it really has nothing to do with anything. Today’s goal is best summed up as, “I’m just messing with Google.”
Back before she fell off the planet, Z. would send the occasional email to bring me up to date on what sort of ads Google was currently displaying on my site. (Everyone needs a hobby.) For example, when I wrote about the evil Ice Cream store, Google reacted by displaying an ad for the very same chain. (Currently, reading about my war against the Red Cross reveals ads for various donor banks, histories of the American Revolution, and companies offering to trace any phone number.)
So I’m curious what Google do when confronted with the wombat situation. My guess is they’ll do what they usually do in these situations. But is there really a market for Wombat Ringtones?
Looking through some recent junk mail, I discovered a letter from Chase bank. At first glance, I thought the large text said, “Convert your equity into debt!”
That didn’t sound right, so I took another look. What it really said was, “Convert your equity into cash!” It was an offer for a home equity line of credit.
So, it turns out I read it correctly the first time after all.
I recently acquired a black hat reminiscent of the one the Gorton’s Fisherman wears, except this one is black. I’m in a weird mood tonight and can’t help making some random associations.
In the old cowboy movies, you can tell who the good guys are because they wear white hats. Likewise, you call tell the bad guys because they wear black hats. So what’s up with the Gorton’s Fisherman and his yellow hat?
All I can figure is that he’s one of the good guys and he had a run-in with Clifford the big red dog. (At the very least, he must have been attacked with a bucket of lemonade!)
Although I don’t usually watch the show, it was still interesting to note that The Simpsons has been on TV since 1988.
When The Simpsons first aired (as part of The Tracey Ullman Show), Bart was eight years old and enrolled in the fourth grade at Springfield Elementary.
Today, eighteen years later, Bart is still trying to finish the fourth grade. Sure, he’s 26 and still living at home, but you have to admire his tenacity. Cousin Jethro may have managed to move to Beverly Hills, but Bart seems determined to manage at least one grade higher than Jethro’s third-grade education.
Over the past few days, various people have asked me, “So how are you doing?”
“Oh, I’m getting along just swimmingly.”
It’s quite gratifying to watch their reactions as they make the connection. 🙂
I have a GMail account I use for keeping up with email when I’m away from home. One feature of the system is something they call “web clips” which is a collection of headlines from various news feeds. Every now and then I’ll spot a headline that piques my curiosity and I’ll read it (particularly the ones from “Ask Yahoo” or the quotations), and I’m always amused when I’m cleaning out the spam folder and GMail displays a collection of spam recipes.
Sometimes the headlines are really offbeat though. Like the one that turned out to be an ad featuring Footie pajamas for grown-ups. I had no idea they made those!
My head started aching this morning around 10:30 or 11:00. Not the sharp “needle behind my eye” pain I associate with a migraine, this was more of a dull pressure on the temples. Probably more to do with allergies, it’s that time of year after all. Things weren’t any better by 3:30, so I told a couple folks I was going home “before my head explodes.”
I got home a little after 4:00 and stretched out on the bed, thinking that a short nap might help. The next thing I knew, it was after 9:00! My head felt better for a while, but the pressure’s building up again.
On the plus side, I’ll have no trouble sleeping tonight. The “non-drowsy” allergy medicine puts me to sleep every time.