Swine Flu

As a public service, I’d like to present the following list of Swine Flu symptoms (aka H1N1). The CDC provides a far more comprehensive repository of Swine Flu information.

Swine Flu Symptoms

  • High fever (100 degrees).
  • Body aches.
  • Lack of appetite.
  • Nausea.
  • Vomiting.
  • Diarrhea.
  • Strong urge to roll in the mud.*

*The urge to roll in mud may also be a sign that you’re overly involved in politics. Medical supervision is strongly recommended.

3 thoughts on “Swine Flu”

  1. This is the best quote I’ve heard so far in reference to the “impending global pandemic”.
    “I overheard two women talking today about the swine flu. One of them told the other “I’m so pissed, I can’t eat pork. This is worse than when the avian flu was here and I couldn’t eat chicken”. The other girl replied “I won’t get it, I’m a vegetarian”. I couldn’t contain myself, I was laughing so hard I had to walk away and compose myself.”

  2. As I attended a Grateful Dead concert in the rain at RFK stadium in the summer of 1990, I can attest that the symptom of desiring to roll (or dive) into the mud can also indicate a high level of blood-alcohol content. I can provide photographic evidence. Of course, none of the other symptoms presented themselves.

  3. Alcohol is also frequently involved in political occasions – the two may be related.
    How that fits in with the Grateful Dead however, I have no idea.

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