11 thoughts on “Imponderables”

  1. Parents nowadays treat their kids like pets or fashion accessories instead of people who are vulnerable to playground beatings. Whatever happened to good old-fashioned names like Chowder?

  2. i don’t see how you couldn’t name your kid that! now it’s a fight between Gazpacho or Pesto for a boy or Mustang Sally or Starbuck for a girl.

  3. Next thing you know, parents’ll be naming their kids “Evangeline” after the chainsaw in Alan Moore’s first story arc on “Swamp Thing.”

  4. The parents probably have names like “Paella” and “Tortilla”
    I had actual patients when I was in civilian dental practice whose names included:
    (pronounced leMONjello and oRANjello)
    (pronounced VAHjinna…I’m not shitting you on that either)
    My thoughts… what’s next? Hi, this is my sone Syphilis and my daughter Chlamydia?

  5. I’ve heard the occasional tale of parents who, with no idea what the word meant, thought “Vagina” would be a beautiful name, but all the stories until now have ended with someone taking the parents aside and very gently explaining why they might want to reconsider.
    I’ve known for a while that the phone book contains entries for Candace and Minerva (i.e. “Candy” and “Minnie”) Barr (Granola however has so far kept an unlisted number).
    As for Gazpacho though, I haven’t actually heard of anyone choosing that name. The way that one came up is that someone started hounding me for my middle name.
    I’ve never made use of my middle name, and it’s really not part of how I think of myself, so I declined to give it out. My response was along the lines of, “I prefer to be just ‘Blair.'”
    Apparently that wasn’t good enough, so they tried to look up my middle name in various online public records. What they found out is my middle name starts with a G.
    So I gave them a list of names beginning with the letter G. One of them was Gazpacho.
    Which led to the original question: What kind of parents would name their kid Gazpacho?
    The responses so far have been quite entertaining. 🙂

  6. Yup! Or, more accurately, Guy is my second-half middle name with Blair being the first half of the middle. My first name (which few people actually use) is That.
    I’ve been “That Blair Guy” for a while and don’t see it changing any time soon.

  7. I’ve heard of those Lemonjello and Orangejello kids! My friend’s a teacher and had them in her class!
    I worked on a child abuse study many, many years ago and we came up with a new form of abuse for the study: bad names. My personal favories were Cash (a girl) and Cobra (a boy); all of the alcohol names (we swear that’s what the parents were drinking when they conceived) Tequila, Chardonnay (multiple spellings), Rum; and mutliple spellings of Heaven/Neveah. UGH.
    A former supervisor said she heard of a family that named their kids after diseases and one kid was named Chlamydia! My best hope for a name in that family would be to be named Chicken Pox (Pox for short) or Flu. Stay away from the STD names!

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