It seems that in Palm Beach they have a problem with people having sex on the beach. All sniggering aside, from a tourism standpoint, that’s probably not the sort of image they’re trying to project. Likewise, I rather imagine any responsible parent would have concerns about the kids getting an unexpected “education.”
Still, the response that County officials have come up with is one I can only describe as “unorthodox”: They want to set up cameras to automatically record the action.
As if the plan wasn’t odd enough by itself, the details are unintentionally(?) even funnier. According to the news story, one of the suggestions from the head of the county commission is that the cameras be set up so 911 dispatchers can watch the scene on the beach and call deputies if they see problems.
If implemented, this plan would no doubt decrease any motivation for local 911 dispatchers to use county funds for porn site subscriptions.
Alas for the 911 dispatchers, it appears that wiring the cameras to continuously upload to the internet isn’t practical. Instead, the news story says the plan is for county workers to periodically visit the beach and download the video from the cameras.
Here’s how I see this playing out:
- Morning drive-time DJs all over the country are going to be making jokes about this story. If not for the writer’s strike, it might even make it onto Leno or Letterman.
- The cameras will eventually go into place.
- A month later, Palm Beach will have it’s first scandal involving a county employee who couldn’t resist the temptation to take one of the tapes home and upload it to a video sharing site. “Palm Beach Nights” will become an instant online hit.
- The county government will promise an immediate investigation with a promise that appropriate action will be taken against those responsible for the release. No significant findings will be announced.
- A second scandal will occur, this time with a prominent community or political figure being caught on tape.
- A short time later, amid as little fanfare as possible, the cameras will quietly vanish.
I also predict an increase in couples coming to the beach wearing masks, and specifically performing for the cameras. Quickies of course…so that they’re outta there before any cops arrive. (If one couple does it, I’m sure it’s an increase.)
hmmm…
if two underage kids are caught on camera…and the cops download that video…are they guilty of downloading child porn? And can the cops lose their jobs over that?