HOWTO: Survive in a Haunted Forest

Since it’s October and we’re now officially into “Haunted House Season,” this seems like a good time to present

Three Rules for Surviving in a Haunted Forest

Rule 1: If you’re alone when a monster attacks, you need to run faster than the monster.

Rule 2: If you’re with someone else when a monster attacks, you only need to run faster than the other person.

Rule 3: If you are not able to run faster than the other person, then you need to run faster than the monster.

By following these three simple rules, you can survive being in any haunted woods or forest.

Have a happy October.

3 thoughts on “HOWTO: Survive in a Haunted Forest”

  1. There should be a cautionary note attached to Rule #2. Once the monster kills the other person you outran, Rule #1 may now apply.

  2. A friend presented another note, this one for Rule #3. If you cannot outrun the other person, it may be sufficient to out think them. For example, tripping the other person may slow them enough for you to be the faster runner for all intents and purposes.
    At which point, your cautionary note would also apply.

  3. I think the discussion of monsters best fits in with those things which rhyme with orange.

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