Friends of mine are getting married on September 30th and unfortunately I can’t make it. The real reason is a prior commitment, but Chris and Karen both have somewhat warped senses of humor (this no doubt helps them put up with me) so I offered a list of reasons for my absence and left it up to them to choose which ones applied:

1. I’m on the run from the law.
2. Galactus has promised to spare the Earth provided that I become the new Silver Surfer.
3. If I don’t act, V.I.K.I. and the NS-5s will impose their own brand of social order “for our own good.”
4. My katra is currently on its way back to Vulcan.
5. I have a prior commitment.
6. Dom and I are scheduled to fly a job for the firm.
7. I’m out hunting replicants.
8. Jobe Smith is taking over cyberspace and must be stopped.
9. The frakking toasters destroyed my home world and I’m busy protecting the last remnants of my people.
10. Voldemort is growing stronger and Harry Potter must be protected!
11. Boss Hogg is up to no good and I need to be available in case Daisy comes by for some help.
12. I just entered the Federal Witness Protection Program.

Naturally I wish them all the best, but it’ll be fun to see how many of those references they can figure out and which one(s) they choose to accept. 🙂