Category Archives: Stories

Oh Boy! Dog Food! That's my favorite!

I keep Wylie’s food in a plastic bin by the front door. The manufacturer promotes it as a way to keep pests out of the food while also keeping the food fresh. I’m more concerned about Wylie getting into the bag and knocking it over than I am about any sort of pests. As for freshness, the food doesn’t generally sit around long enough for that be an issue. (And is freshness really an issue with kibble?)
The main selling point for me was that the container seemed somewhat unlikely to fall over and create a mess for me to clean up. Open bags of dogfood aren’t generally all that stable. As a bonus, if anyone ever opens the closet door, they’ll immediately get the impression that I’m somewhat organized. That impression won’t last any longer than it takes them to look at the odds and ends stacked on the living room sofa, but those few seconds in between are what I’m shooting for.
Wylie’s usually pretty indifferent to the evening routine. We come back from our pre-dinner walk and while I go and get his dinner ready, he runs upstairs and jumps on the bed. He’ll get around to eating dinner in his own time.
This evening was special though. I’d just bought him a new bag of dog food and this evening I poured it into the storage bin. Wylie was fascinated by the entire procedure and by looking at his eyes, you could see what he was thinking: “For me? All of that’s for me?!”
Wylie’s very excited right now. I think he’s decided this means he gets to stay here for another month.
I hope he’ll stay quite a bit longer.

The Schweitzer Chronicles (pt 4)

By September, we’d decided to disband the Shuttle Schweitzer as a Starfleet chapter. Normally it takes a group about nine months to go from a shuttle (a chapter in training) to a full-blown chapter. We were coming up on three years and still hadn’t completed the process. What we’d realized was that we were friends anyhow and didn’t need the framework of a Starfleet chapter for that to happen.
So, we announced our decision to Starfleet via the monthly status report. Given the previous three months worth of status reports, there was only one way to do it.
Shuttle Schweitzer has had a change of command.
Our new CO is Charles Foster Kane.
Rosebud.
And with that, Shuttle Schweitzer was “sleighed.”

Hot Chili

Wow. I’ve been getting a lot of email about the VeggieTale Roadkill. Tom and Anne both wrote back about what it takes to make real chili, and Angela even went so far as to send a vegetarian chili recipe with no end of spicy ingredients (jalapeno peppers, four garlic cloves, two tablespoons of chili powder, another of cayenne hot pepper sauce and so on).
Of course, it’s always a good idea to be cautious when making spicy chili. In some parts of the country (particularly in Texas), it’s not at all uncommon for small towns to be completely destroyed when some fool enters a chili competition with an entry that requires a number of alarms greater than the number of nearby fire companies.
And it’s not just the small towns that have this problem. Chicago had a big fire department in the 1860 but by 1871 the city fathers had become complacent. The cow takes all the blame, but most historians overlook the fact that there was also a chili cookoff that weekend.

Mary Christmas' Carol

After college, I spent six years in Nevada, living on the North Shore of Lake Tahoe. During my time out there, I got involved with the North Tahoe Fine Arts Council (NTFAC) and in the winter of 1992, participated in the council’s first-ever Christmas show, a play called Mary Christmas’ Carol. The show ran from (I think) Thanksgiving until shortly before Christmas and in addition to the play, also included a vaudeville show.
I was the group’s stage manager, charged with building the sets, running the lights, and a variety of other “behind the scenes” tasks. I made several friends among the cast, staying in touch with some of them for a while even after my return to the East Coast. Continue reading Mary Christmas' Carol

The Schweitzer Chronicles (pt 3)

Going into the August status report (my third in a row), I decided to take a break from the Monty Python references. Of course, after the previous two months, I couldn’t jump straight into the new gag. I’d like to believe that the transition worked out well enough that the new gag took everyone by surprise.
Having made his purchase, Matt headed out of the cheese shop, pausing to hold the door for a gentleman he’d seen coming out of the library while he was on his own way into the cheese shop. Nibbling on a chunk of Venezualan beaver cheese, Matt looked around to get his bearings. The sales clerk had confirmed that this was indeed San Francisco and Matt had decided to file his MSR in-person at headquarters. Continue reading The Schweitzer Chronicles (pt 3)

How Terry and Wylie saved Christmas

It’s been mentioned before that Wylie gets excited when he sees deer. A lot of people assume it’s because he wants to chase after them, but that’s not at all true. The reason he gets excited is that Wylie is a member of the S.L.E.D. team and he wants to talk to the deer to see if they’ve heard any news from Santa’s reindeer.
S.L.E.D. (Santa’s Little Elf Dogs) is a world-wide organization of dogs who every Christmas keep an eye out for Santa and are on standby to help out in case the jolly old elf should encounter difficulties. It’s been a long time since Santa’s had any serious problems, but it’s well-known in canine circles that it was only the delaying tactics adopted by the Grinch’s dog Max that allowed the Grinch to hear the Whos singing and have his change of heart about the holiday, leading to his decision to bring all the gifts back to Whoville. As a part of the S.L.E.D. team, Wylie is inspired by Max’s example and is always ready to help Santa out. Continue reading How Terry and Wylie saved Christmas

Taking it for granted

I had to be in Towson this morning by 9:00am for a Jaycees meeting. Factoring in the hour-plus drive to get there, time to take Wylie out, and otherwise get myself ready for the day I knew the day would starting awful early. Right about 6:00am, Wylie and I headed out the door for our usual morning walk.
Normally I don’t bother turning on the outside lights before heading out for the morning walk. During the week, the timing works out so the sun’s usually coming up while we’re out. And on the weekend, I can sleep late enough that the problem doesn’t exist. But because it was so early this time, I considered breaking with tradition and leaving a light on so I could find the place. Continue reading Taking it for granted

The Schweitzer Chronicles (pt 2)

Having already taken care of the Shuttle Schweitzer’s monthly report for June, I volunteered to write the July report as well. Not having learned from the previous month’s experience, Matt decided to take me up on it. The Monty Python gags continued.

Having been tossed into the Gorge of Infinite Peril at the end of last month’s MSR, Matt drew a deep breath for what he was certain would be a long drawn out “Noooooooooooooooooooooo!” worthy of Wile E. Coyote falling off the cliff for the fifth time in three minutes. Much to his surprise though, he’d barely started drawing his breath, much less yelling, when he was quite startled to hit bottom, letting out a deep “WHUMPF!” instead. Continue reading The Schweitzer Chronicles (pt 2)