Riley is visiting for a few days while his humans are out of town.
After taking Wylie and Riley out for their evening walk (in the rain), I was too tired to go upstairs and ended up taking a nap on the couch. When I woke up an hour or so later, I discovered that the two dogs had chewed a hole through the back of the couch. Not only the back of the couch though, they’d gone all the way through the drywall and I could see the aluminum siding and feel cold air blowing through. So now, in addition to still being completely exhausted, I was utterly disgusted as well. It was enough of a shock that my only possible reaction was to fall asleep again.
When I woke up the second time, I discovered that the damage had been a dream. In fact, the destroyed couch was a completely different style than the one I’d been napping on and I never would have painted the walls that shade of green. Wylie had been napping next to me the whole time and Riley was curled up on the other side of the room.
Category Archives: Stories
Testing
Chirp. Chirp. Chirp.
FIRE. FIRE.
Chirp. Chirp. Chirp. Chirp.
Warning! Carbon Monoxide.
And since the new alarm seems to be working, I put it up where the old one used to be.
Chirp 2.0
It was late by the time I got home from work. According to the original plan, I was still supposed to be in New Bastille, but sometimes plans have to change. Wylie was very happy to see me and started barking and once he gets started, it’s not long before Terry joins in with an accusatory chorus of The Abandoned Parrot’s Lament.
With all that commotion, I didn’t notice the chirp at first, or if I did, it was quickly dismissed as a particularly shrill note from Terry. But just as I attached Wylie’s leash the chirp came again. I was at the bottom of the stairs just then, and I knew what that meant — the upstairs smoke detector must need a new battery. So I took it down and put the battery where I would see it and not forget to replace it.
When Wylie and I returned from our walk, I put the leash away and headed toward the kitchen to get us both some dinner. Just as I was passing the stairs again, it happened:
chirp.
Upon hearing that fateful sound, only one thought went through my mind: Oh no, not again.
I decided not to panic. Not yet anyhow. There is another smoke detector in the house after all, this one at the top of the basement stairs. So I opened the basement door, took down the smoke detector, and replaced the batterries.
Warning! Carbon Monoxide.
Oh. It does that every time you replace the batteries. Nothing to worry about.
chirp.
Huh? That’s never happened before. Maybe it just needs a little more time before whatever internal system came up to the proper voltage and then the chirper will turn itself off.
So I put the detector back in place at the top of the basement stairs.
chirp.
OK, now I’m starting to worry. Maybe the replacement batteries are bad too?
So I took the detector down again. Took the batteries out, put in another set.
Warning! Carbon Monoxide.
OK, normal so far…
chirp.
Uh oh.
Hey, what’s it say on the back here?
WARNING: Carbon Monoxide cannot be seen or smelled but can kill you. If alarm sounds: 1) Operate reset/silence button. 2) Call your emergency services (fire department or 911). 3) Immediately move to fresh air – outdoors or by an open door/window.
chirp.
Crap.
Hey, what’s this?
Alarm Quick Reference Guide
- Three long “beeps” followed by “FIRE! FIRE!” Indication of fire hazard. (Or maybe the Klingons are in phaser range?)
- Four short “beeps” followed by “WARNING! CARBON MONOXIDE.” Indication of CO hazard.
- One “chirp” every 60 seconds, followed by “LOW BATTERY.” Indication of low battery.
- Eight “chirps” after operating test button. Indication of previous levels of CO exceeding 100 ppm.
- One “chirp” every 30 seconds. Indication of alarm malfunction.
“Indication of alarm malfunction.“????
So I timed the chirps. Sure enough, it’s every 30 seconds.
I don’t plan to repeat that experience any time soon. This time, the malfunctioning detector goes in the trash for certain.
In the meantime, I’ve already removed the batteries.
Notes from this Weekend
I spent this past weekend at a Maryland Jaycees convention up in Timonium. One of the more memorable moments of the weekend was a presentation my friend Angela gave on Saturday evening. She was kind enough to share a copy and I thought the folks who regularly read this site might find it interesting.
Hi everyone, this person is your typical Militia honoree: they’ve chaired or co-chaired projects from small to large, held many board positions at both the local level and the state level, they’ve crisscrossed the state to assist other chapters, recruited new members, participated in state programs such as speak-up, write-up, and degrees. Most importantly, her chapter has witnessed her growth from the shy person who sat quietly in the back of the room to someone well known, liked, and respected across the state.
This person was nominated for many reasons, but one thing stands out above all others: her ability to successfully mentor chapter members and Jaycees all across the state. She coaches new project chairs through the project planning process and teaches them the fundamentals. She understands the importance of guiding and teaching them how to plan the project, rather than doing the work for them. In the nominee’s own words, “…sometimes people ask for advice, and then they follow-up by asking questions. That’s when you get to be a mentor. And that’s kind of cool. You don’t run the project for them: you answer questions, you give advice, and you help out. But you don’t take over. (It’s gotta be rough for momma bird when the baby bird takes that first step off the branch!)”
Many of you are familiar with quite a few of her…uh, HIS mischief and mayhem. That’s right, he is known around the state for taking the Special Olympics turkey plunge quite literally. Two of our members had recently gotten engaged (they decided to “take the plunge”) so he secretly raised funds to get them to jump in the frigid water, but he took it a step further by making turkey wings out of brown paper bags to go with the turkey plunge theme. They looked stunning! He’s also responsible for our chapter’s largest turnout of speak up and write up competitors at a quarterly convention simply because he challenged the chapter president that he could get a high turnout. Unfortunately for the president, this person won the challenge and the president took a pie in the face!
One of my own foolish moments has paid off in dividends for all of us. After his first year in the Jaycees, he hemmed and hawed about renewing his membership so I made a silly comment about what I would do if he didn’t renew (something about bunnies — you’ll have to ask him). Somehow, he turned it into a practical joke on me, but he’s been around ever since. We wouldn’t have it any other way.
Lastly, I am so very pleased to be the person presenting this award because I greatly value his friendship. We became friends long ago when we served on the chapter’s board and our friendship has grown throughout the years. When I became chapter president, I frequently sought his advice (usually over lunch or ice cream!). His ability to see things I could not were as invaluable to me then as they are now.
His greatest strength is his compassion and caring. He’s known for being quite the practical joker, but last year with great planning and care, he turned the long-time practical joke of bunny ears into Operation Bunny Foo Foo to lift my spirits during my illness. Compassion and caring — that’s him.
But tonight it is not about me — it’s about him. At this point, will the members of the Gaithersburg/Germantown Jaycees please don your ears and escort the newest Militia Major, Blair Learn to the podium.
This person was nominated for many reasons, but one thing stands out above all others: her ability to successfully mentor chapter members and Jaycees all across the state. She coaches new project chairs through the project planning process and teaches them the fundamentals. She understands the importance of guiding and teaching them how to plan the project, rather than doing the work for them. In the nominee’s own words, “…sometimes people ask for advice, and then they follow-up by asking questions. That’s when you get to be a mentor. And that’s kind of cool. You don’t run the project for them: you answer questions, you give advice, and you help out. But you don’t take over. (It’s gotta be rough for momma bird when the baby bird takes that first step off the branch!)”
Many of you are familiar with quite a few of her…uh, HIS mischief and mayhem. That’s right, he is known around the state for taking the Special Olympics turkey plunge quite literally. Two of our members had recently gotten engaged (they decided to “take the plunge”) so he secretly raised funds to get them to jump in the frigid water, but he took it a step further by making turkey wings out of brown paper bags to go with the turkey plunge theme. They looked stunning! He’s also responsible for our chapter’s largest turnout of speak up and write up competitors at a quarterly convention simply because he challenged the chapter president that he could get a high turnout. Unfortunately for the president, this person won the challenge and the president took a pie in the face!
One of my own foolish moments has paid off in dividends for all of us. After his first year in the Jaycees, he hemmed and hawed about renewing his membership so I made a silly comment about what I would do if he didn’t renew (something about bunnies — you’ll have to ask him). Somehow, he turned it into a practical joke on me, but he’s been around ever since. We wouldn’t have it any other way.
Lastly, I am so very pleased to be the person presenting this award because I greatly value his friendship. We became friends long ago when we served on the chapter’s board and our friendship has grown throughout the years. When I became chapter president, I frequently sought his advice (usually over lunch or ice cream!). His ability to see things I could not were as invaluable to me then as they are now.
His greatest strength is his compassion and caring. He’s known for being quite the practical joker, but last year with great planning and care, he turned the long-time practical joke of bunny ears into Operation Bunny Foo Foo to lift my spirits during my illness. Compassion and caring — that’s him.
But tonight it is not about me — it’s about him. At this point, will the members of the Gaithersburg/Germantown Jaycees please don your ears and escort the newest Militia Major, Blair Learn to the podium.
And then A BUNCH OF MY FRIENDS PUT ON BUNNY EARS and led me to the front of the room where I was presented with a plaque, hat, and other accouterments recognizing me as a member of the Maryland Jaycees Militia. (A Militia Membership is the highest honor you can achieve in the Maryland Jaycees.) The Gaithersburg/Germantown chapter sets a pretty high standard in order to consider someone for a Militia membership and given the caliber of people who had been honored in the past, I figured it was a pretty safe bet I wouldn’t be one of them.
I’m still a little blown away.
Coming Attractions
From the mind that brought you an Interesting Afternoon and The Legend of Bunny Foo Foo comes a new story. A tale of friendship; a tale of adventure; a tale of a time when happiness was a warm puppy.
Wylie’s Tale
The heart-warming adventures of a young dog whose exploits thrilled a nation.
Coming this Christmas.
A Matter of Priorities
Wylie likes having a certain amount of routine in his life. When I get home from work, he runs up and down the stairs (and sometimes slides across the floor) until I take him out for his afternoon walk. When I cook breakfast in the morning, he lounges on the couch, waiting for a piece of scrambled egg or perhaps a pancake to land in the ol’ food dish. And when we come back from our evening walk, if I go upstairs before giving him a treat, his confusion becomes quite evident. (He’s quite insistent about this last routine. In addition to looking back and forth between me and the cupboard – he knows exactly where the snacks are stored – he’ll occasionally go so far as to block my path up the stairs. The message is quite clear, “Hey! Aren’t you forgetting something?! Where’s my treat??!“)
Today was a rough day for Wylie.
It was quite bad enough that no people food was dropped into the ol’ food dish, but to add insult to injury, the ol’ food dish up and disappeared. Being fairly easy going, Wylie came right upstairs and flopped on the bed while I got ready for work.
Wylie perked up a little at the next break from the routine. Usually once I’m ready for work, he gets a couple Milk Bones and then he’s confined to the upstairs for the next eight to nine hours. Today was different though. I went downstairs and gathered my things for work, but instead of coming upstairs with the Milk Bones, I called Wylie to come down. That definitely got him to perk up and once he saw the harness, he got even more excited. He was going to go for a ride in the car!
He enjoyed the ride in the car and despite all the stereotypes, he didn’t put up any resistance at walking into the vet’s office. I took a few steps with him toward the exam room and it wasn’t until he was on the scale that Wylie realized I was no longer with him. (The technicians later told me that he spent a large part of the day upset that I wasn’t around. Clearly he was concerned that without him to keep an eye on me, I’d probably wander off and fall down a well or something.)
When the vet cleans a dog’s teeth, the routine is to put the dog under sedation. This way the dog won’t be as anxious about the procedure and the humans won’t be as anxious about the possibility of being bitten. But because of the sedation and the need for monitoring afterward, it’s an all-day thing. They cleaned Wylie’s teeth in the morning and I picked him up on my way home.
It was pretty clear that Wylie was still feeling the affects of the sedation. Usually he hops right into the car, this time he had to take it in stages, using the doorframe as a step instead of jumping directly onto the seat.
When we got home, Wylie came upstairs while I changed clothes. I felt badly that he’d come upstairs just to go back down a few moments later and felt even worse when I saw him on the stairs. He didn’t exactly fall down the stairs, but it was hardly a graceful descent either.
When we returned from the afternoon/after-work walk, Wylie went back upstairs and stayed curled up on the bed until it was time for our evening walk. From his reduced pace on the evening walk, it was obvious that he was still a little groggy, so we cut the walk short, reducing it to about 2/3 of a mile instead of the usual 1 1/2.
And when we got back, Wylie made it plain that I wasn’t to go upstairs until he’d had his evening treat. He might not have been feeling well, but he does have his priorities.
An Explosion of Bad Cooking
I’ve been having some trouble getting to sleep the past few weeks. Once I fall asleep, I sleep wonderfully, but actually getting to sleep has been difficult. As you might suspect, this tends to lead to a certain degree of difficulty in getting up the next morning, which means rushing through Wylie’s morning walk, eating a very quick breakfast, and praying that there haven’t been any accidents between home and the office. (Even during the summer, someone having the most minor of mechanical difficulties can back traffic up for 20 miles. During the school year, it’s a good day when the sea of brake lights only goes back 20 miles.)
So on Thursday night I decided to plan ahead and made a few hard-boiled eggs. Not the most filling breakfast, but combine it with a bit of milk and perhaps a granola bar and it’ll do the trick.
A couple hours later, just as I was getting ready to go to bed, there was an explosion in the kitchen. While I was trying to figure out what the heck was going on, another egg exploded, this time knocking the lid off the pan.
I’ll bet you didn’t know eggs would explode that way either, did you?
Just Like Windows
My car’s “Check Engine” light came on last week. Rather than pay through the nose to take it to a dealership, I did some checking and found out that as long as it wasn’t something with the electrical system, the garage where I used to take my pickup could handle the hybrid just fine.
I just heard back from the mechanic. They pulled the diagnostic code from my car’s computer, checked it against Honda’s official list of diagnostic codes and … the code doesn’t exist! They reset the diagnostics, drove the car around a bit, and the service light didn’t come back on.
So the conclusion is that my car had a computer glitch. The solution was to reboot the car!
Making Progress Again
I’ve reached a point in the renovation project where I’m tired of the entire thing. Consequently, although I’ve unpacked a few things (I now have a sofa along with the computer, desk and chair), I’ve been finding a number of excuses to put off the rest of painting. About all I’ve accomplished along those lines the past couple weeks is the prep work for the master bedroom.
That’s changed. Today I made a point of finishing the prep work for the bedroom and it is now officially painted. For Sunday, I hope to get the upstairs hallway painted. Then all that will remain is painting half the kitchen and getting things out of the basement again. (And there’s a bit of deadline too, Shore Leave is in two weeks and I’d like to have the project done before then.)
The only catch is, my bedroom now smells like paint. What’s worse though is that the drop cloth was blocking the air vent. Consequently, it’s also about 20 degrees warmer than the rest of the house. So tonight I’m going to sleep on the sofa. Happily, it’s not just a sofa, it a very comfy sofa!
Wylie Pupdate
Wylie’s a little blue this evening.
Fortunately, latex paint is non-toxic, and he didn’t get very much on him.