When friends ask me to edit stuff for them, I do my best. But still, if I had a nickel for every time I was proofreading my own stuff and didn’t notice I’d a word or two out…
Category Archives: Silliness
Halloween Costume
A few days ago, I promised a photo of my costume from last weekend’s Halloween party.
This get up is, of course, very similar to how I was made up last year when I was chasing people through the cornfields, and that was quite deliberate. The Frederick Jaycees didn’t run their Haunted Hayride project this year, so this was my “Tribute Costume.” (You can’t tell from this photo, but the shirt is a Haunted Hayride “Event Staff” shirt from the 2006 season.)
There is also a series of photos from an adventure I went on during the party, but those will have to wait until at least this evening.
Carving the Meta-Lantern
The original plan was to draw a rabbit on it and carve the lantern so you could see the rabbit. There were a couple reasons for this, one was that everyone carves faces or ghosts or (if you’re really good) a witch on their Jack-o-lantern. So I was going to draw a rabbit.
The other part of the plan was to take a photo of the Jack-O-Lantern (with the rabbit on it) and put it on the Shore Leave web site for Halloween. (The convention is named for the Star Trek episode titled “Shore Leave.” The episode includes a brief appearance by the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland, so the convention adopted the rabbit as a mascot.)
Carving a drawing of a rabbit onto a pumpkin was definitely ambitious, but I thought it was doable. I’ve been drawing rabbits and putting them on the convention web site for the past several years. This was just a new medium is all.
Reading Bunny |
Ze Artisté |
Costumer Bunny |
Security Bunny |
It was easy enough to draw a rabbit on the pumpkin. It was an unfamiliar medium, but aside from a little extra waviness in the whiskers, it was pretty straight forward. That’s when I realized how much detail is involved in those rabbits. The teeth, the whiskers, the noses, ears, and so on. I’ve been getting better at carving pumpkins, but that amount of detail was going to take most of the night. (Note to self: It might be a good idea to start carving the jack-o-lantern a little earlier than 10:45pm on the night before Halloween.)
So, it was clearly time for Plan B:
Yes. That’s right. I carved a jack-o-lantern with a jack-o-lantern on it. I call it the “Meta-Lantern.”
Those with a sharp eye may have noticed something amiss though. There’s a figure lurking in the shadows off to the meta-lantern’s left. What the heck could that be? Let’s take a closer look, shall we?
Could that be…? Let’s turn up the lights and see if that’s who I think it is….
Oh no! It’s a Captain Jack O-Lantern!!!
Date Changes
When Tom commented recently that his schedule makes last-minute date changes difficult, it occurred to me that this could cause him serious difficulties.
Several folks (Hi Z! Hi SueP!) have taken me to task because I’m oftentimes awake when the date changes. This does leave me a bit sleepy from time to time, but it does put me in the position to make the occasional scientific observation. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but what I’ve observed is that date changes almost always take place not merely at the last minute of the day, but at the absolute end of the very last second of the last minute.
The sole exception I’ve noticed to this rule has been the occasional incident of a “leap second” in between years. At that point there’s no date whatsoever and you end up with not just the single transition between dates, but instead a transition from December 31 to no date at all, and then a second transition when January 1 finally arrives.
It would be remiss of me to ignore the fact that things would have gone quite badly for Indy midway through the first movie if Sallah hadn’t noticed that the dates had changed from tasty to deadly. That sort of date change is a problem for us all.
Revealing Luke's Secret Plan
A while back, I noticed that one of the posts on Luke’s “Toothface” blog starts off with the sentence, “I was introduced to Keith Olbermann from my BSG Seminary Collegue this past winter.” I’ve been intrigued by that statement ever since.
I’m by no means well-versed in the names of the various seminaries in existence, but a reference to a “BSG Seminary” definitely catches my eye. Particularly when it comes from Luke, because the two of us share an appreciation for the TV show Battlestar Galactica or, as it’s known in some circles, “BSG.”
I don’t recall anyone on the show ever mentioning a seminary, but the show has embraced religious themes from the first episode, so it’s not much of a stretch for there to have been a seminary somewhere along the line.
There’s also an interesting distinction to be made: Luke subscribes to a monotheistic belief system. The human survivors of the twelve colonies, for the most part, follow a polytheistic religion (it’s not entirely clear whether the colonials worship the Greek/Roman gods).
There are exceptions of course. Along with a few atheists, there are a few who believe in only one god. I believe Kara Thrace (“Starbuck”) is an example of the latter group.
Of course, there’s another group in Battlestar Galactica who worship only one god: The Cylons. And the Cylons also have religous leaders, such as Brother Cavil.
The Cylons were created by Man
They Rebelled
They Evolved
There are Many Copies
And They Have a Plan
I’m onto your plan Luke!!!
Vote Naked!
Rather than tell you why their candidates are the best (or perhaps work to make sure their candidates really are the best), the political parties in Pennsylvania are more concerned about the clothes people will wear to the polls. Because after all, people’s clothing is more likely to influence your vote than anything the candidates have to say. (Then again, given how little of substance the candidates have had to say, the party leaders may have a point there…)
The solution is simple: Show up at the polls naked!
Oh sure, a few folks will look at you as though you’re not too bright, but you’ll still look smarter than any of the party leaders!
Arrrr!!!
Talk Like a Pirate Day was two weeks ago. That was a Friday this year, which made a perfect excuse for celebrating an entire Pirate Weekend. A few highlights from this year’s festivities follow.
For any well-dressed pirate, eye patches and hooks are optional, and of course all swashes should be buckled appropriately. Traditionally, proper pirate headgear has included both bandannas and pirate hats. In more recent times, the latter category has been expanded to include sports caps for the Pittsburgh Pirates, Tampa Bay Buccaneers or Seattle Seahawks (beware though, wearing another team’s hat may have you walking the plank).
Can you guess which pirate makes her own chain maille?
This bloke be Claire.
According to Wylie (the obligatory not-so-scurvy dog), heaven must be a lot like this.
Sure, Sue thinks its funny now. But what’s she gonna say when Jacob tries the “Pull my finger” routine on her?
These swabs must be music pirates.
The most fearsome pirates of all.
Wonderful. Just Wonderful.
I received a letter from BNY Mellon today. They’re the bank responsible for processing dividends on the six shares of stock I own in the parent company of KFC, Taco Bell and Pizza Hut. An entire six shares. Even if I cashed them in, they wouldn’t cover the amount of hassle I’m now at risk of encountering. Here’s how the letter opens:
We are writing to let you know that computer tapes containing some of your personal information were lost while being transported to an off-site storage facility by our archive services vendor. While we have no reason to believe that this information has been accessed or used inappropriately….
Having worked for a financial services company, I was already pretty thoroughly convinced that personal information isn’t protected nearly as well as the various players claim it is. So in many ways, it really did seem like just a matter of time until my information was put at risk through no fault of my own.
Oh. And the tapes were lost in February. According to the letter, they’ve spent the past five months investigating. Given the lack of a “here’s what we found out” paragraph, I can only conclude they have no idea what went happened.
I know what’s going on. Where did you think Congress was going to come up with the trillion dollars they need to bail out the financial system?
REQUEST FOR URGENT CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP
As John points out, this is a chain post. (John blames Wil Wheaton, so I’ll happily blame John.) I’m fairly comfortable stating that this post doesn’t invoke The Curse since (a) you chose to visit my site instead of me dumping this in your in box and (b) this doesn’t end with the usual litany of bad outcomes if you don’t pass it along.
And hey, maybe this one will really work!
REQUEST FOR URGENT CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP
From: Minister of the Treasury Paulson
Subject: REQUEST FOR URGENT CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS RELATIONSHIP
Dear American:
I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.
I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of 800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it would be most profitable to you.
I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.
This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the funds can be transferred.
Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to protect the funds.
Yours Faithfully
Minister of Treasury Paulson
Shoe Safety
AJ recently asked me to join her team for “Light the Night,” a fundraiser for the The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (sponsorships welcome). I responded that It would be an honor and went to the event web site to sign up.
As with so many events these days, when you sign up, you have to agree to their terms and conditions, essentially agreeing to follow their rules and if you get hurt it’s your fault not theirs.
I understand and agree that I am voluntarily participating in The Light The Night® Walk, through The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, at my own risk and my own request. I am in good health without any medical & physical restrictions. I will wear properly fitting footwear with good traction enabling me to walk safely on all surface and conditions. I can also see well at night and will not need any special assistance. I also give permission for the free use of my name, picture and voice in any broadcast, telecast, print account or any other account in any medium of this event. I understand that bicycles, inline skates, “wheelie” footwear, skateboards and scooters are not permitted.
I understand that The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society has the right in its sole discretion to reject my participation as a Light the Night volunteer for any reason, whether prior to or after my registration.
That highlighted sentence might be setting the bar just a little too high. Footwear suitable for all surfaces and conditions?
The crampons that would allow you to walk safely across an unexpected patch of ice would probably cause you to trip if it then became necessary to walk across a carpet. And if you were on the surface of the moon, the spikes on the crampons would be a risk for tearing the space suit! And just imagine if there were a carpet on the moon! You trip, and as you try to right yourself, one foot makes contact with the other leg and tears the space suit, and then you stumble, fall, and break the suit’s faceplate against a rock.
I’ll do my best to follow their rules, but I’m a bit concerned about the footwear issues. Of course, if means I get the chance to walk on the moon… that might be worth the risks.
Updated 9-23-2008: Due to a death in the family, I won’t be participating in this event after all. I’ll have to look for an alternate way of getting to the moon.