In the process of signing up for the 401(k) and getting set up for direct deposit of my paycheck, a few things have come up lately where the folks at headquarters want me to fax them various bits of paperwork. This seems to be a fairly common practice and is no big deal except that I don’t have access to a fax machine.
My solution is that if something needs to be signed, I print it out, sign it, scan it back into the computer, and then email it to whomever asked for it. If they need a paper copy, they can print it out at their end. This is roughly the same process a fax goes through, except that there’s no telephone call involved and my confidential information doesn’t sit on a shared fax machine for several hours waiting for someone to come pick it up. So far the folks at headquarters don’t seem to have any objections either.
I used to have access to a fax machine, but it was recently replaced with a sofa and several chairs. They all seem comfortable enough, but so far nobody’s announced a training schedule for how to use the sofa to transmit documents
Category Archives: Silliness
HOWTO: Protect your Identity On-Line
Step 1) Shred your computer.
Regarding Harry Potter
I’ve been hearing whispers for months about how a hacker had supposedly managed to steal an electronic copy of the manuscript for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Not watching much TV these days, I wasn’t aware of it, but according to Gavroche, the theft is now being reported in the mainstream news.
A lot of people have been trying to figure out what’s going to happen in this story. Does Harry defeat Voldemort? What role does Neville play in this? Is Dumbledore really dead? Do Ron and Hermione stop fighting and fall in love? I suppose this theft, if it really did happen, could be someone’s way of finding out the answers to those questions.
Just to settle the debate once and for all, here are the book’s highlights:
The climatic scenes take place in Voldemort’s lair, a castle which magically floats above the clouds. (The reason nobody has been able to locate his hideout is because England has a lot of clouds.)
The big surprise in this book comes after Harry challenges Voldemort to a wizards duel. The fight doesn’t go well for Harry and he crawls out on a ledge to get away from Voldemort. He’s already lost his hand at this point and then Voldemort drops the big bomb, “Harry, I am your father.”
Harry screams “Noooooo” and leaps into the void. He manages to catch himself on a branch sticking out from the bottom of the castle and hangs on until Hermione brings the Millennium Falcon to rescue him.
And that’s where the book ends. After that, there’s a brief paragraph from J.K. Rowling in which she explains that there was so much more to write that she needs to keep the Harry Potter franchise alive for at least one more book. She also announces her plans to write a series of Harry Potter prequels. These stories will chronicle the original rise of Tom Riddle in far more detail than in The Half-Blood Prince and will follow James and Lily Potters’ time at Hogwarts.
Then the Vikings Started to Sing…
It’s been about a week and a half since AJ finished her third round of chemo-therapy. Part of the “down” part of the cycle is that very few food items are even remotely palatable. She’s been writing about this in her blog and today wrote about breakfast and trying to decide between a bowl of cereal and a bottle of Boost (a high protein/high calorie supplement for people who are having problems digesting regular food).
The first thought to enter my mind was, “What about having Boost and Cereal for breakfast?” After all, she’s lost a lot of weight, and was pretty skinny even before all this started.
The next thing I thought of was a variation on a bit from Monty Python with a couple ordering breakfast at a diner. Except instead of Spam, Eggs, and Spam she’s ordering Boost, Eggs and Boost and he’s ordering Boost, Boost, Boost, Eggs, Boost, Sausage and Boost…
Important Phone Tip
When calling a business, it’s a good idea to make sure you copy down the correct phone number. Fax machines don’t generally know how to speak to a human.
Missing Persons
Amy and I have a long-standing tradition of calling each other while we’re in the car on a long drive. A month or two ago I called her while driving home from the other side of the state, a month before that, she called me while driving home from Las Vegas. Today she called me while driving from California to Louisiana. (Amy clearly drives to and from far more interesting locations than I do.)
We chitchatted for a little while and then the connection was lost. That was kind of an odd thing since the various wireless companies usually make sure you’re never too far away from a cell tower while following the Interstate. But then it occurred to me, Amy had mentioned that they’d just passed through Roswell, New Mexico about an hour earlier.
We got reconnected about 15 minutes later and Amy was quick to assure me that no, aliens hadn’t abducted her. But I’m not sure what to think – it’s possible she wasn’t able to speak freely. She laughed off the possibility of being abducted and almost immediately the signal was lost again.
I haven’t heard from her since.
Maybe
I received a questionnaire on Tuesday which asked, “Do you have trouble making decisions?”
How do you answer that?
My first thought was to answer “Yes,” but having that response come to mind so quickly seemed quite decisive, don’t you think? So maybe the answer is “No.” But if you’re thinking about answering “Yes,” then answering “No” isn’t entirely truthful either, is it?
I left it blank.
Come On Baby Light My Fire
Johnny Cash passed away in late 2003 and less than six months later there was a story buzzing around the Internet about a marketing company that wanted to use his song “Ring of Fire” in a commercial for Preparation H. The Cash estate declined.
In the meantime, 180,000 high-tech bidets built by the Japanese toilet manufacturer Toto between May of 1996 and December of 2001 have developed problems with their electrical circuits. I can’t imagine combining water and electricity in the first place, much less in the bathroom, but in the past year 26 toilets have sent up smoke and three have actually caught on fire.
If the Cash Estate still isn’t interested in licensing “Ring of Fire”, perhaps the toilet company can persuade the remaining members of The Doors to let them use “Light My Fire.”
A First Time for Everything
Wow. I think this is the first time anyone has ever complained about me not teasing them. But then, Amy’s always been a good sport about things like that.
In the future, I’ll have to be sure to tease her in a more timely manner. After all, apparently it’s all my fault and I wouldn’t want to shirk my responsibilities!
Polygamous Wombats
Did you know that wombats are polygamous? I had no idea one way or the other but for some reason that phrase popped into my mind today. A quick Google search for polygamous wombats however reveals an extract from the Australian Journal of Zoology which says that yes, wombats are polygamous.
Who knew?
So that’s the useless fact of the day, but it really has nothing to do with anything. Today’s goal is best summed up as, “I’m just messing with Google.”
Back before she fell off the planet, Z. would send the occasional email to bring me up to date on what sort of ads Google was currently displaying on my site. (Everyone needs a hobby.) For example, when I wrote about the evil Ice Cream store, Google reacted by displaying an ad for the very same chain. (Currently, reading about my war against the Red Cross reveals ads for various donor banks, histories of the American Revolution, and companies offering to trace any phone number.)
So I’m curious what Google do when confronted with the wombat situation. My guess is they’ll do what they usually do in these situations. But is there really a market for Wombat Ringtones?