I’m equally amused and bemused by the language in the iTunes license agreement where you’re forbidden to use iTunes to control nuclear reactors. This just consistently strikes me as a very odd thing to put into the license for software that is (mainly) used to buy and play music.
My curiosity finally got the best of me and I wrote to iTunes customer service to express my surprise. Do they have a frequent problem with people using iTunes to control nuclear reactors and such? Rather than trying to enforce such restrictions via the software license, wouldn’t it be easier (and safer!) to simply remove that functionality from the software?
A customer service person wrote back within 24 hours with a very well-written and courteous response. She identified one of the two sections that raised my eyebrow, but aside from repeating what was in there, declined to elaborate on why it might be there, directing me instead to their Legal Department.
I’m quite disappointed. I thought for sure a company like Apple would have a more creative response.
Perhaps I’ll have more luck writing to Larry Page and Sergey Brin about Google Earth.
Category Archives: Silliness
Arrrrrrr!
Arrrrr. Today be Talk Like a Pirate Day!
According to The Pirate Name Generator, I am:
Mad Jack Flint
Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. Like the rock flint, you’re hard and sharp. But, also like flint, you’re easily chipped, and sparky. Arr!
Here be some other Piratical resources for ye:
- Pirates of the Caribbean
- Treasure Island by Robert Louis Stevenson (the book, not the movie)
- The original Talk Like A Pirate web site.
- The Dave Barry column that made the day famous: Arrrrr! Talk like a pirate — or prepare to be boarded
- The Wikipedia Talk Like a Pirate Day page
And a tip of the tri-corner hat to Captain Squish for most graciously pointing out that I had linked to the wrong Talk Like a Pirate web site, but also for providing the link to the Pirate Name Generator. Thanks also to Lady Katie for passing along the link to The Pirate Cat.
I’m looking forward to hearing what their piratical names are, and yers too mate!
Pirates
Avast ye Scurvy Dogs! As ye may be knowin’, September 19 be known throughout the Seven Seas as International Talk Like A Pirate Day.
Are ye ready?
Googling the Moon
This is kind of cool. Google, in association with the X-Prize foundation, is sponsoring a $20-million prize for the first funded team to land a robotic rover on the moon. (There’s also a $5-million prize for the second team and another $5-million for meeting various bonus objectives.)
Actually, this is very cool. It’s a return to the Moon. They’ve even established some goals — finding water ice in the permanently shadowed craters on the poles, having a probe survive the lunar night (equivalent to two weeks of “brutal cold”), and finding the artifacts left behind by the previous lunar missions.
To promote the contest, the Google X-Prize has put together a very inspirational video.
I’d love to see this succeed. Getting back to the Moon is the first step toward exploration of other planets.
But one thing troubles me. Google makes nearly all of its money from advertising, and I’m suddenly reminded of D.D. Harriman pointing out that because it’s visible from everywhere on earth, The Moon would be a great place to put a billboard…
Ramping Up
Dad fixed the ramp going into his tool shed this past week. In its previous incarnation, the ramp was a sheet of plywood attached to a framework of 2x4s. The general consensus was that the ramp was probably sturdier than the actual shed.
I’m not entirely sure when the ramp first came into being. I think Steve had some role in it, and I’m certain he was the one responsible for attaching it to the shed. The ramp is essentially a 6×6 platform, resting at an angle. At the bottom, the ramp has, over time, settled into the ground so that wheelbarrows, lawnmowers and the like can easily roll on and off. At the top, Steve attached the ramp to the base of the shed with a handful of nails. After a single summer, the nails pulled loose from the base of the shed, leaving about a foot of difference between the top of the ramp and the bottom of the shed.
This has proved to be something of an obstacle for rolling wheelbarrows, lawnmowers and the like from the top of the ramp into the shed. It had been like that for several years.
Now that the ramp has been repaired, Dad’s commented that he somewhat misses having a level platform there. It was useful for changing the oil in the lawnmower and such, but he philosophically shrugs his shoulders and says, “That is the way it goes.”
I don’t think the problem is simply “That is the way it goes.” I think he repaired it wrong.
What I have in mind would be to replace the wooden structure with a steel plate such as the ones they use to temporarily cover deep holes in the street until they finish doing whatever caused them to dig up the street. Instead of just attaching the plate to the front of the shed though, a hydraulic lift goes under it at the shed end. At the other end there needs to be a track of some sort so the plate can move back and forth freely. That way Dad would have the flat platform he’s used to. And when he wants a ramp, all he has to do is flip a switch (I assume he’d go for the powered lift instead of the hand-cranked one) and voila, the platform turns into a ramp!
That would be the best of both worlds! 🙂
How Email Works
Google recently put together a short (2 min, 19 sec) video explaining how email gets from the sender’s computer to the recipient as the message is passed from one server to the next. The demonstration focuses on Google’s GMail system, but it applies equally well to all other email systems.
(Seriously, Google really did put this together.)
Google Destroys the World!
Good Grief! It turns out that Larry Page, Sergey Brin and Eric Schmidt are in cahoots with Steve Jobs in the plot to destroy the Earth!
After reading today’s UF, I did some quick searching and soon found out about the Flight Simulator embedded in Google Earth. That sounded like a pretty cool little easter egg, so I decided to check it out. It turns out that this particular egg requires you to have the most recent version of Google Earth. No worries, I’ve used Google Earth before and think it’s kind of cool.
At the start of the installation process the first thing you have to do (of course) is agree to a software license. Most of it’s the usual stuff about there being no warranty, respecting intellectual property rights, and so on. And then about three-quarters of the way through, right after the bit about the program being export-controlled, I ran across some rather chillingly familiar (and unnecessarily capitalized) text…
NONE OF THE SOFTWARE IS INTENDED FOR USE IN THE OPERATION OF NUCLEAR FACILITIES, LIFE SUPPORT SYSTEMS, EMERGENCY COMMUNICATIONS, AIRCRAFT NAVIGATION OR COMMUNICATION SYSTEMS, AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL SYSTEMS, OR ANY OTHER SUCH ACTIVITIES IN WHICH CASE THE FAILURE OF THE SOFTWARE COULD LEAD TO DEATH, PERSONAL INJURY, OR SEVERE PHYSICAL OR ENVIRONMENTAL DAMAGE.
OK, I sort of understand why they don’t want you using it in emergency communications (picture an ambulance crew trying to find their way to a heart attack victim using this stuff and not being able to get the imagery fast enough). I haven’t figured out yet how someone’s going to use a map to control a nuclear reactor, but it can’t be much harder than controlling a reactor via the iTunes software.
Much like the iTunes license, this one is also made hard to read. The bit where you agree not to use Google Earth to control a nuclear reactor is on the 20th screen out of 29. By hiding it this way, Google is assuring that you won’t read that bit and therefore won’t know that you’re not supposed to use the software in that manner. They’re awfully clever like that.
There is one ray of hope though. Google may have outsmarted themselves. In the same paragraph where you agree that you won’t use Google Earth to control a nuclear reactor, you also agree that you won’t use it for “Aircraft Navigation or Communications systems.” And like I said at the beginning, Google Earth includes a flight simulator.
The Alternate Universe Lost and Found
Listening to Tom Smith’s “Alternate Universe Lost and Found” just now, it occurred to me that the idea of a Lost and Found like that ought to be a rich source of short story ideas. (As the song points out, it’s more than just socks that slip away between dimensions.) So always looking for something new to read, I went onto Google and typed in, “alternate universe lost and found”.
At first glance, the first search result seemed a bit surreal. But then again, when compared to the idea of an interdimensional lost and found, this “found” ad seems downright normal…
LOOSE PONY FOUND IN MARSDEN PARK AREA
How do you lose a pony?!
Making Things Happen
I found out about three weeks ago that Michaele and Jeremy were expecting a second child about now. It’s been a while since I last saw Michaele, so this definitely took me by surprise. (After all, if you go around randomly asking people, “Oh, by the way, is your wife pregnant?” the best you can hope for is some very strange looks.)
Not having heard any updates, last night I dropped a line to a mutual friend asking if she’d heard any news. Lynn wrote back this morning with a birth announcement. The baby was born about eight hours after I asked if there was any news.
Clearly I need to ask my boss if there’s any news about me getting a raise!
The Curse Stops Here!
Congratulations!
You’ve just done the karmic equivalent of winning the lottery! Because you’ve found this page, you are now free from forwarding chain emails ever again! Want to rekindle a lost love? Just contact your old flame and if it was meant to be, it will be! Fame and fortune? If it was meant to be yours, it will be!
And all of this good fortune will occur without you ever again suffering the humiliation of friends or family members asking you to “Please stop forwarding me this crap!”
How does it work? It’s simple, any time you get an email urging you to “Forward this to everyone you know!” instead of sending it along, just click the “delete” button instead. You’ll instantly receive all the good luck you would have received anyhow! It’s that simple!
Of course, there’s a catch to this. Now that you’ve read this page, you must never, ever forward another chain letter. If you forward a chain letter after reading this page, you may very well find that your friends and family members think you foolish. And all the bad luck threatened by every chain letter you’ve ever forwarded may come back to you tenfold!
Sure, it’s quite possible that this is complete hogwash. But do you really want to risk it?
(Permission is hereby granted for you to copy this post to any blog you maintain. Please consider including a link to this page at: http://dactylmanor.org/blair/zero/2007/09/04/the-curse-stops-here/.)