I bought my house a little more than nine years ago. There’s a lot of pressure involved in buying a home. Everyone talks about mortgage rates, how it’s your single biggest investment, and so on. That’s what gets all the attention, but that’s just small potatoes. The real pressure comes from the first pizza stain.
When a guy moves into a place (and this applies to apartments too), you can’t say you’ve really moved in until you’ve stained the carpet by dropping a slice of pizza. And you can’t do it on purpose either. If you intentionally drop pizza on the carpet, then you’re just a slob.
When moving day arrived, a half-dozen friends and family members assisted me in moving furniture, books, and boxes upon boxes, many of which were clearly labeled as containing “Stuff.” (Several of these boxes are still sitting in the basement, unopened, but contain vitally important stuff that I can’t possibly live without.) Among my helpers were none other than Marauder and his lovely wife Natasha.
After two or three trips between the apartment and the house with cars and trucks brimming with boxes of stuff, we decided to take a break and order lunch. Because it’s the easiest way to feed a group of people on a budget (and also because nobody knew which box had the kitchen stuff), we ordered pizza.
Everyone had already been making jokes about the problem of the pizza stains and then about two thirds of the way through lunch, Marauder dropped a slice of pizza! I don’t know whether he was just naturally clumsy, or if he was just being a slob (he and Natasha will likely have differing answers on that one) but suddenly all the pressure was gone and I was free to enjoy my new home.
We cleaned up that stain in short order and today I can only tell you that it was somewhere in the general living room/dining room area. But nine years of foot traffic, plus Terry and Wylie, have taken their toll on those formerly light-colored carpets. Even the steam machine from the supermarket has only a limited effect. It’s time to do something about them. Preferably, something that will be easier to maintain.
Today I officially selected a company to install hardwood floors. Marauder has until May 28th to complete any additional pizza-dropping activities he may be considering. After that, I’ll be keeping him away from the area rugs.