I thought maybe I was just being silly, but today I was able to confirm that I’m definitely not making the big bucks.
I’ve been suspicious for a while now, but kept coming back to the fact that I’ve been in the workforce for slightly more than 20 years, and on top of that, the software industry is supposed to pay well. So you’d think, the odds were pretty good that I was making the big bucks.
But nope, it turns out that when I get money from the ATM, the bills that come out have the exact same dimensions as when anybody else gets money from it. That was quite a surprise.
So I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “Blair, it’s not the size of the bucks, it’s how many bucks you have!”
Well if that’s the case, then I’m really in trouble. I’ve never once gone hunting. The only time I’ve ever had any venison at all was when someone else shared some with me.
I’m so disappointed.
3 thoughts on “Big Bucks”
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You can actually buy venison in some groceries, but the packaged kind sometimes gets mixed with other animal products, such as pork, so if that makes a difference to one, then one has to be careful.
The hunted kind rarely gets so mixed. At least, I haven’t heard stories of such creatures, and I am relatively certain if such creatures had been discovered, or bred, I would have heard something.
I’m trying to imagine two things right now
1) a creature that is half deer/half pig.
2) The ‘natural’ process that would yield such a creation (i.e. the momma pig and pappa deer, or vice versa, doing what comes so naturally.)
This should occupy my brain for the rest of the day, so I have no feelings of regret if I help it to occupy any others.
It seems to me that venison mixed with non-deer meat (whether through processing or breeding) would have to be considered counterfeit bucks. That’s not a good thing to have.
And I should point out too that technically, venison can come from does in addition to bucks. So even if the female deer strapped a bunch of branches to her head in order to look like a buck, that would still be considered counterfeiting.
My mind boggles at the idea of a naturally occurring half-deer/half-pig. And what about the nomenclature?
The overall species (assuming it breeds true and doesn’t end up a mule) would likely be either a dig or a peer.
I suppose the young would be known as either “figlets” or “pawns”. Both names have a certain appeal, though I suppose “pawn” could play a minor role in puns relating to chess and/or short term loans. “Figlet” on the other hand sounds like either a distant relative to a Winnie the Pooh character, or else a small cookie.
The adult female I suppose would be either a “soe” or a “dow” (with or without an industrial index?). Labeling the male half of this new species is a bit trickier since boar and buck both begin with B. I suppose you could always use one of the parent species’ names for the latter half. Calling the male a “big” seems a bit confusing, though I’m certain a lot of people would love to have an official hunting season for “beer.”
“I’m certain a lot of people would love to have an official hunting season for “beer.””
ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! with ideas like this, you’ll soon be make’n the big bucks! i’m all about this idea! ;-D