I’m not sure why, but I’ve been going through another round of people asking me to suggest names for things. This is a bad idea. If it were up to me, all streets would be called “The Street” (with a few suitable variations, such as, “The Street Pete Lives On”). Likewise, every mountain would be either “The Mountain,” “The Mountain to the Left,” “The Mountain to the Right,” or else “No, That Mountain Over There.” This might cause some small amount of confusion.
Nonetheless, I’ve recently been asked to suggest names for Relay for Life Teams (I’m torn between “Fluffnutters” – because it’s fun to say – and “Flatfooters – because it’s descriptive) and just today, names for boats (“Hull in the Water” has a certain ring to it, though “S.S. Minnow” might work too.)
Just in case anyone is planning to ask, here’s a few naming ideas for your pets.
Dogs: Bob. (Short for “Bob Barker”)
Cats: Five (This joke was borrowed from elsewhere.)
Fish: Gil
It would be perhaps be best to avoid asking me to suggest names for children. (In the interest of full disclosure, I should point out though that none of the names on that list came from me. Therefore, if it’s a girl, I suggest naming her “Deniece” and if it’s a boy, I suggest “Denephew.”)