Dumb Question

Arriving home on Monday evening, I changed clothes before talking Wylie out for his walk. While I was putting on my sneakers, Wylie hopped up on the bed, looked at me, and gave a short bark, “Rowf?”
“It was OK,” I replied. “How was your day?”
The next three minutes were filled with a cacophonous barking diatribe covering the rising price of milk bones, a world domination plot by cats and squirrels, and a concern that invisible ninja squirrels are developing an acorn-bomb.
I shouldn’t have asked.

HOWTO: Survive in a Haunted Forest

Since it’s October and we’re now officially into “Haunted House Season,” this seems like a good time to present

Three Rules for Surviving in a Haunted Forest

Rule 1: If you’re alone when a monster attacks, you need to run faster than the monster.

Rule 2: If you’re with someone else when a monster attacks, you only need to run faster than the other person.

Rule 3: If you are not able to run faster than the other person, then you need to run faster than the monster.

By following these three simple rules, you can survive being in any haunted woods or forest.

Have a happy October.

Tags

Head holds the abstract data,
Body contains the guts.
Applet talks to Java code,
Paragraph speaks the text.
Insert highlights a thing brand new,
Delete reveals things gone.
Break terminates a line of text,
Span marks within the flow.
Preformatted keeps exact layout,
Select drops down a list.
Superscript floats above the line,
Subscript sinks beneath.
Blockquote tells what others said,
Horizontal rule draws a line.
Table unfurls a grid of data,
List-item makes a point.
Style cares about appearances,
Meta is more abstract.
HTML, the outer tag,
Goes around them all.

Bird's Eye View

I was eating breakfast on Thursday when I heard a loud chirping sound from outside. It was similar to the squawk Terry makes when she’s been startled by something, so I took a look.
Looking out the kitchen window, I saw a wing flapping at ground-level behind the oak tree at the edge of my yard. My neighbors have an outdoor cat and, having found the remains of several birds in my flower beds, my first thought was that another bird had gone to that great nest in the sky.
The flapping continued for a few moments, and then a small animal darted under the fence and into the garden. A moment later, a large bird hopped up and perched on my chain-link fence.
I’m not sure if it was a hawk or a falcon (or really, what the difference is), but it was beautiful. At a distance of less than 50 feet, this is the closest I’ve ever been to a bird of prey outside a zoo, so while the bird studied my garden, searching for its errant breakfast, I took the opportunity to watch the bird.
A half-minute later, a squirrel (either very daring or perhaps not fully sane?) jumped onto the fence and startled, the bird flew away. But for that brief moment, my little corner Sprawlsville seemed a bit more connected with nature.

Selling Coal to Me

If someone had read my original email, I’ll bet they wouldn’t have bothered sending out this follow-up. This is what happens when you let a computer do your customer satisfaction surveys.
Dear Apple Customer:
Recently, you contacted Apple support using Apple’s online web support form. We’re very interested in getting your feedback regarding your support experience.
If you have a moment, we hope that you’ll take our support survey. The survey should take less than 5 minutes to complete. To get started, simply click on this web address or copy and paste the entire URL into the address field of your web browser.
[[link]]
The information you provide will be used to improve our product support and future offerings. We will not use information collected via this survey to sell you products or services. If you have additional questions about how Apple will use this data, please consult Apple’s privacy policy at http://www.apple.com/legal/privacy/.
We know you’re very busy and we appreciate the time you take to give us your thoughts and suggestions.
Sincerely,
The Apple Online Support Team
Note: We are unable to respond to messages sent to this survey e-mail account. Please call AppleCare, visit Apple’s support website, or visit an Apple Retail Store if you require further assistance.